Thursday 22 March 2012

Staying Optimistic

Life slaps a reality cheque most times on our face so hard that we hit the ground and most times seem to stay down. The environment we find ourselves makes it difficult to stay positive in our thoughts and actions but truth be told, optimism is good for you. It's good for your health. It can nurture friendships and professional relationships and improve communication skills. Optimism can't -- and shouldn't -- be dictated by the economy or other exterior factors like loss of job, broken relationship, failed marriage etc. It should come from an attitude within -- positive reactions that are borne of a philosophical approach to bad news and unfortunate experiences -- and like any skill, it takes time to develop.

Let's look at some few steps to building an optimistic spirit..

  • Set boundaries on downers

I try as much as possible to visit the news channel just to be informed but stay on entertainment channels as often as possible. WHY? You ask, the answer is simple. The news is filled with sad details. Rape cases, corruption, suicide bombers, crashing economies, kidnappings and accidents claiming many lives, more sad news. Most times the news leaves us with an attitude less than positive, so I choose my entertainment channels to put a little laughter in my life.
                                                          
Limit your exposure to pessimistic people and mounts upon mounts of upsetting media. The truth is that you can find both in great abundance these days, and they do nothing for your sense of optimism. Try to trim the sad news out of your life, and choose a single source for news and media and stick to it, as opposed to jumping from site to site and story to story. Doing the latter, one is bound to chronically come across awful stories that, when taken cumulatively, breed pessimism.

Put a Smile on your face

Whenever I'm on air, I close my show with a line ... put a smile on your face, it's the next best thing you can do with your lips, the first is your business. It may sound like the tritest advice imaginable, but smiles really do foster optimism. There are even some research studies that, while admittedly remain too subjective for serious scientific consideration, suggest even a “fake it till you make it” approach can actually affect your psyche as well as the psyche of those around you.


A smile never goes wrong
                                     

Believe in the best possible outcome

Quite simply, start trying to cultivate a glass-half-full perspective. When reasonable, assume the best possible outcome of events, or at least focus on the most hopeful aspects of a situation. Doing so doesn't make you someone who’s blind to reality; it just provides you with a fresh perspective.

   I've always believed that there are three sides to a coin -- Head, tail ,middle. Just like there are three sides to every situation- positive, realistic and negative. The one you choose most times determines the outcome... choose wisely

Come up with Constructive responses

Instead of holding on to the worst aspects, seek out the positives, especially when talking with friends about their personal or professional situations. Turn off dead end situations , and take active steps toward realizing your goals rather than passively letting things happen to you. Do the same with your friends: When one loses a job, you can commiserate, but you can also remind them of their positive attributes as well as remind them of previous victories in their lives, ones that were redeeming and inspirational. And you can do this without being too quick to jump at being inspirational or preachy.
A broken toilet to many is useless, to someone it may be a form of art 

                                                           

Seek out the silver lining

Optimists understand that, all in all, life goes on. Statements like “tomorrow is another day” and “the sun will rise again” actually mean something to optimists.

It's absurd to think that the stock market will be down forever. An optimist doesn't dwell in the “down” aspect, but rather looks for the potential upswing, and in the meantime reevaluates his assets and his decisions, and how they can benefit him both now and in a market upswing. For instance, an optimist might take from the ongoing international economic crisis that  borrowing tons of money doesn't lead to happiness, and  that the crisis could prove a valuable lesson to the younger generation.

Resolve to be an optimist in 2012

One of the great optimists of the latter half of the 20th century was a brilliant economist name Julian Simon. Just as other economists and environmentalists were moaning about the population bomb and spewing doomsday prophecies, Simon was saying the opposite. His theory was simple: Humanity will react accordingly, and life will go on. In the face of the all negativity of the 1970s and 1980s, Simon remained resolute, and time proved him correct.

You can go back centuries and centuries looking for bad news about the future, looking for doomsday language in everything you read, or you can believe that in one form or another, life will go on just fine, it will merely require a few adjustments. The choice is yours but, like Simon, the best choice was the one that expressed the most hope, and ultimately, the one that gets you through another day feeling better and better about things to come.



Monday 19 March 2012

Keeping your Palm open

           Have you ever noticed how when we cling too hard to something, we actually let it go? Let's get a little practical. Pour some rice grains in your hand and fold your hands to a fist so nothing goes out, then pour same quantity of rice grains in your other hand and leave it open. Which of these two hands end up with more grains? Exactly what I thought. The hand which was not folded into a fist, simply put, the palm which was left open. How do you move on when you stand still? How do you get anything new when your pocket is filled with old stock?


 
    Most times we view giving as a religious exercise, yet giving is the bane of life. Have you ever tried being overfed, yet refuse going to the toilet? Do you know that the inability to use the toilet is a medical disorder? When you get, you are expected to give some out. Till you give out, you are not likely to get anything new.You are likely to suffer from toilet disorder, and your body system experience high level of Mal-function. Like a pipe and drum. The pipe gets fresh every minute because it gives out as soon as it receives, the drum on the other hand only stores and gets filled, after a while it starts smelling of stale water.
                               
       Giving out can be done in various ways. When you say kind words or words of advice to someone, you give out love and kindness. When you give out used clothes, food stuffs, money, toiletries, to those who cannot afford same, you share love. When you give out your time, talent or even lend your voice to someone's cause, you give out love. Nothing given out returns to you same way it left. I've always seen giving as a kind of trade service-- you give something now to get something in the future.

                                                                                                                        

       Now 'there's no giving when the purse opens, and the palm releases but the heart is shut'. Giving starts with your heart, not your purse. If your heart is against you giving anything out, why do it? The heart and head must be in concord when carrying an act of giving or else that act becomes an act in futility. I have heard people say 'I don't give because what I have is not much'. Truth is... it doesn't matter. What matters most is the heart, and will to do same. Givers remain fresh like feed pipes, while receivers are like full drums... always smelly, old and stale.
       Keep your Palms open, after all when you die, you die empty with nothing you owe accompanying you to the world beyond.